If We Were a Movie Page 4
Pearl watched Sophie for a moment, hesitating as if she was considering saying something else. Whatever was on her mind, she decided to keep quiet. She slid her gaze to me and waited. She wanted to hear it from me. She wanted me to say yes, and not just Sophie. I appreciated that.
With both of them watching me and waiting for me to make a decision, I felt almost as suffocated as I had the day Chris and Tyler told me we’d be rooming together. But I did want to escape my brothers. They’d be mad, but they’d get over it eventually. What could it hurt to just meet this guy and see the apartment? “Okay. I’ll at least check it out.”
Pearl nodded with satisfaction, and Sophie clapped her hands. “Yay! This is going to be so great. I can’t believe you’re finally going to break up with those morons. You’re not going to regret this. I promise.” After kissing my cheek she looked at Pearl again, phone in hand. “What’s his number?”
“I only have an e-mail address,” Pearl said. “TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com.” She gave me another affectionate smile. “Jordan is a film major. Another creative type, like you. I really think you’ll be good for one another.”
A film major? I perked up a little at that. Trying to break into the movies was as hard as trying to make it as a musician. It would be nice to room with someone who understood what I was going through.
Sophie startled me from my thoughts, pushing her phone into my hands. “Here, baby. E-mail him, and then look up your computer guy. Then I really need to get to my study group.”
As I opened my e-mail, Sophie headed to the counter to order a coffee to go.
To: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
From: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
Subject: Room for Rent?
Hi. I spoke to your friend Pearl this evening, and heard you had a room for rent. Is it still available? I’m not picky about accommodations. I just need to get out of my current living situation as soon as possible. Thanks, Nate
After hitting SEND, I let out a long breath and started googling twenty-four-hour data recovery services. Before I could find one close by, a reply came back to me about the room.
To: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
From: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
Subject: Pearl recommended you???
I was just about to post the room in the classifieds, but I’d prefer helping out another student, so if you’re interested, I’ll hold off on posting it until after you’ve seen the place. Besides, if Pearl recommended you, you must be a saint. The apartment is only five blocks from the main NYU campus. The rent is half the price of anything else you’ll find this nice, and you’d have your own bedroom and bathroom. Rent includes utilities, Internet, and cable. Bedroom is furnished, and we have a washer and dryer in the apartment and a gym facility in the building.
All that and the rent was that cheap? There had to be something wrong with it.
To: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
From: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
Subject: What’s the catch?
I’m definitely interested. But the place sounds too good to be true. How come it’s still available, if you don’t mind my asking?
I waited a second, hoping that I would get another quick reply, and sure enough, I got a response right away. I about died laughing when I read the subject line.
To: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
From: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
Subject: I have a tendency to kill my roommates.
The apartment is fantastic. It only became available last week, and it’s a month into the semester. Most students have found a place already. The catch is I’m lame. I’m really not into the party thing. Been there, done that, over it. I don’t mind having friends over or whatever, but I keep things low-key. I’ve got a strict no-party, no-smoking, no-drugs policy. And I get really cranky when I don’t get enough sleep, so I won’t tolerate a lot of late-night noise. I’m mostly easygoing, but still not the ideal roommate for the typical college student.
I didn’t even think twice about hitting the REPLY button.
To: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
From: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
Subject: Sounds perfect.
I’m living in the freshmen dorms on campus right now, and the party every night thing isn’t working out for me. It’s the reason I’m looking for a new place.
To: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
From: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
Subject: It’s yours!
Now you sound too good to be true. You aren’t some raving psychotic, are you?
To: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
From: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
Subject: You’re one to talk.
You’re the one who likes to kill your roommates.
As I waited for a reply, I started getting excited. I was having fun and already starting to feel better. This was exactly the type of situation I was looking forward to when I applied for college in the first place. I’d never lived with anyone besides my brothers, so this guy could turn out to really be the murderous lunatic he claimed to be and I would have probably overlooked it. He seemed totally cool, though, so I wasn’t too worried about ending up in a body bag. When the subject of the reply said “Touché. When can you move in?” I squirmed in my seat at the idea of a little freedom.
To: Anderson.Nathan@NYU.edu
From: TheNextStevenSpielberg@gmail.com
Subject: Touché. When can you move in?
I’m free right now if you want to come see the place.
A soft chuckle pulled my attention away from the phone. “You’re smiling already,” Pearl said.
So was she. Her grin stretched wide across her face, and her eyes sparkled with joy. I’d never seen anyone look more satisfied.
I shrugged. “He seems like a cool guy. I think you’re right. This might actually work. Thanks, Pearl.”
Pearl winked at me and rose to her feet. “I think my work here is done. Say hello to Jordan for me, and take the apartment, Nathan. Take a chance. Take it for you, because it’s what you need. What you want. Don’t think about Sophie or your brothers this time. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”
I genuinely believed her. I could do this. As she walked around the small table past me toward the door, she paused and pulled something from her pocket. I nearly gasped when she set a fortune cookie in front of me. She slid me a sly grin and then left the café without ever looking back.
Once she was gone, I couldn’t help feeling as if my life had just been forever altered somehow. I stared at the fortune cookie in front of me, almost waiting for an earthquake, or lightning, or whatever else goes along with magical soul swapping, but nothing significant happened.
I was still waiting for the fortune cookie to, I don’t know, jump up off the table and bite me, when Sophie returned with two cups of coffee. “What’s this? Did the old Chinese woman leave you a fortune cookie?”
Giggling, she handed me one of the cups and reached for the cookie.
“Wait!”
She snapped it open before I could stop her. “An unexpected opportunity will change your life,” she read. Her face lit up with delight. “There. You see? It’s a sign. You need to go see that apartment.”
It was a sign, all right. A freaky one. I’d go see the apartment. I just hoped I’d be in my own body when I woke up the next morning.
The sun was setting as I stood outside the door of what could be my first apartment, making the pristine building appear to be sparkling. Then again, maybe it actually was sparkling. The address Jordan had given me was to a building nice enough to actually have an elevator and a doorman. It was also in a prime location only a ten-minute walk to school.
If Jordan was as cool as he seemed, serious about the price of the rent, and the apartment was even half as nice as the building suggested, I would owe Pearl big time. So far, I couldn’t see a downside to this arrangement. I greeted the doorman with a wide smile. “Nate Anderson, here to se
e Jordan Kramer.”
The guy nodded and pointed to the elevator. “You’re expected. Go on up. Eighth floor, apartment 8B.”
“Thanks.”
I was still buzzed from Pearl’s motivational “take a chance” speech, but my hopes were dashed when a girl answered the door in pink striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers. She leaned against the doorframe and checked me out with obvious intrigue.
“Mr. Anderson,” she said slowly, imitating the bad guy from The Matrix as she held out her hand for me to shake. She wasn’t the first person to ever do that by any stretch, but she’d nailed the impersonation. If I weren’t completely bummed at the moment, I’d have given her props.
“So this is what a Pearl-approved guy looks like.” She shook her head once and cracked a smile. “She’s got good taste, I’ll give her that. You’re an odd mix of sexy and adorable. Don’t see that often.”
I was a little taken aback by the compliment, if that’s even what it was. She may have just been stating what she considered to be fact. She laughed at my surprise and held out her hand to me. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jordan Kramer.”
I’d been afraid of that. “You’re a girl.”
Jordan laughed. “That’s what it says on my birth certificate, but I’m really glad you were able to figure it out without needing to read it.”
Nope. I definitely didn’t need that. She could never be mistaken for anything but a girl. I wouldn’t describe her as gorgeous or beautiful, but she had the “cute” thing perfected. She had hazel-green eyes, a light smattering of freckles across her nose, and a contagious grin. Her hair was dark brown, but had enough red in it that she could almost pass for auburn. It was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail that only added to the whole girl-next-door effect. And she was tiny. I towered over her, which was sort of a novelty for me considering I’m stretching it when I describe myself as being average height. She had to be like five-foot-three at best and ninety pounds if she was lucky.
I shook my head, grinning. “No. Sorry. Obviously you’re a girl. I was just surprised. Pearl didn’t mention it, so I assumed the opposite.”
Jordan bit down on her lips as if trying not to laugh at me. Then she surprised me by snapping her fingers and pointing at me. “You are so EuroTripping right now.”
I’d been about to apologize, but my jaw snapped shut, trapping the words in my mouth as I frowned. I had no clue what she was talking about. “Excuse me?”
“Sorry.” She pointed at herself. “Major film geek here. I have this theory that everything in life has been done in the movies, and right now your movie is EuroTrip.”
She waited for me to say something—agree with her, maybe—but all I could do was shrug. “Never heard of it.”
“Seriously? Oh, you’re so missing out. It’s great.” She reached forward and grabbed my wrist, dragging me into her apartment before I could argue. “Come. I’ll show you.”
When we got inside, I nearly stumbled to a stop. The apartment was incredible. And huge. The living room alone was larger than the dorm I was sharing with both my brothers. But then it had a decent-size kitchen with a breakfast counter and barstools and a separate dining room. An actual formal dining room. Not a breakfast nook that crowds the kitchen. A dining room. In Manhattan. Where a single square foot of space probably cost thirty billion dollars. The apartment must be worth a fortune.
Everything was new and modern and nice. It was super clean and finely decorated. The living room had a giant flat screen—sixty inches at least—mounted on the wall. It had a state-of-the-art sound system and was surrounded by beautiful built-in floor-to-ceiling shelves. Most of those shelves were filled with DVD cases instead of books.
Before I could ask about the apartment and why in the world the rent would be so cheap when the place was so nice, Jordan plucked a movie off one of the shelves and handed it to me. “EuroTrip,” she announced proudly. “Teen comedy from the early 2000s. Scott has this Internet friend that he totally assumes is a guy named Mike. But in fact, she’s actually Mieke. A girl. Like me.”
She waited again for another response. This time, I laughed and nodded. “Okay, I get it. Never seen the movie, though.”
“So funny. Totally crass, but still hilarious. The highlight of the movie is a surprise cameo by Matt Damon. He plays this crazy punked-out rocker who sings this freaking hilarious song ‘Scotty Doesn’t Know.’ Oh my gosh, I laugh so hard I cry tears every time I see it. I swear, that scene never gets old.”
I looked down at the DVD case in my hands, trying to keep up with the conversation. Jordan was a bit dizzying. “Matt Damon plays a punk rocker and sings a whole song about how some guy didn’t know his Internet friend was a girl?”
Jordan laughed. “No, no, no. Sorry, the gender mix-up thing was after the song. That was the inspiration for the adventure. But for an epic adventure, first you need a catalyst to make the hero accept his call to action. The song was the catalyst. Brutal, but so funny. It’s about how Scotty’s girlfriend was cheating on him for, like, ever and everyone knew it except—” She sucked in a breath.
The room fell into sudden silence. It was as if Jordan had choked on her own words. She was just standing there, with her eyes pinched shut and her jaw clenched. “Uh…you okay?”
When I spoke, she took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and forced a smile my way. Then she proceeded to take the DVD from my hands, break the disc in half, and throw it in the trash. “Everything all right?” I asked again after she’d stood there a moment, clearly holding back tears.
My voice startled her. She swiped once at her eyes and tried to smile again. “I’m good now,” she said. “Sorry. Ex-boyfriend drama. I guess we’re both Scotty today. You’re lucky. You got the start of an exciting adventure. I got the cheating and the brutal dumping.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, while I tried to think back to what she’d said about the song. Something about a girl cheating on her boyfriend? Oh. I had no idea what to say or do. “Oh, man. That sucks. Sorry.”
As if she’d just realized she was making me uncomfortable, she shook her head and pulled herself back together. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump my crazy on you. I just thought I’d gotten rid of everything that reminded me of them.”
“Them?”
She sighed. “Let’s just say my boyfriend of eight months is no longer my boyfriend, and my roommate since I came to college is no longer my roommate.”
Her boyfriend hooked up with her roommate? “Whoa. Harsh.”
She nodded, and we fell into another awkward silence. I tried to lighten the atmosphere. “So…you really do have a tendency to kill your roommates. You know, I kind of figured you were kidding when I agreed to come see the place.”
I thought maybe joking was the wrong way to go when she flinched and then blinked at me several times—maybe I hadn’t been sensitive enough—but then she burst into laughter. “Oh, my gosh!” she cried. “Best icebreaker ever! You are awesome. And totally allowed to be my roommate now. Come on, I’ll show you the room. It’s huge. You’re going to love it.”
She started to drag me off again, and we were halfway to the hallway before I put on the breaks. “Wait. Sorry. You seem cool, but I can’t take the room.”
Jordan cringed. “I can’t have scared you off already. I swear I’m not normally so psycho. It’s only been a week since I found out about them, and—”
“No, it’s not that,” I reassured her quickly. “It’s just that you’re a woman.”
Jordan’s jaw snapped shut and she wrinkled her nose at me. “My sex is a problem?”
I sighed. “Yes. Well, no. But yes.” When she frowned, I cracked a smile. “There’s nothing wrong with your sex. I happen to appreciate women very much. I wouldn’t have a problem rooming together, but my girlfriend is another story.”
There was no way Sophie would be okay with me having a female roommate.
Jordan’s eyebrows climbed so high up her forehead they nearly hit th
e ceiling. “You have a girlfriend?”
Her bewilderment should have been offensive, but for some reason it was just funny. “Your shock is a little insulting,” I teased.
She slapped her hands over her face and then waved them at me apologetically. “No, that’s not what I meant. Of course you have a girlfriend. That’s not hard to believe at all; it’s just…Pearl sent you.” She scratched her head and eyed me with more confusion. “Did Pearl know you had a girlfriend when she gave you my e-mail?”
“Yeah.” I laughed. “She met her. Actually, she kind of hijacked me from my girlfriend and made me have tea with her. She’s a very strange woman. But yes. She knew I had a girlfriend. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m sure she knew Sophie would disapprove of me rooming with you, because she purposefully didn’t correct us when we assumed you were a guy.”
Jordan snorted. “Not surprising. That scheming little meddling busybody is always up to something.” She shook her head and laughed once. “A guy with a steady girlfriend. Unbelievable.”
“There’s something off about her, isn’t there?”
Jordan laughed again. “She’s a little eccentric, but she’s harmless, I promise. She’s actually very sweet, if a little too nosy.”
I nodded. Aside from the weird too-knowing up-to-something vibe I got, that was my exact impression of Pearl. I was relieved Jordan seemed to like her. “I’m sure she meant well,” I admitted. “I am desperate for a new place, and she seemed convinced this would be a perfect fit. I’m sure she was just trying to help. Sadly, if not for Sophie, she’d probably be right. You seem cool, it’s a great location, and this apartment is fantastic.”
Jordan looked around and sighed. “It really is. You sure you don’t want to at least see the room?”
I paused a minute, tempted to say yes. Now that I’d gotten the thought of moving out into my head, I wasn’t ready to relinquish it. The thought of spending the rest of the semester with my brothers in that tiny dorm room when I had this place as an option was…
At my hesitation, Jordan stepped aside and waved toward the hallway where the bedrooms were. “Just come take a look. I need to fill the room, and you need a place to stay. It’s really not a big deal, anyway. We wouldn’t even have to share a bathroom.”